Sandwich Board: April, 2020

Photo from

I guess--call me jaded and call me overly weary--I didn't expect to have more than one generation-defining moment in less than two decades. But hey, when Rome burned to the frakking ground I guess no one became overly wise or prominent from pointing out how absurd and easily predicted it was, right? I happen to belong to a generation whose primary instinct in the face of this much relentless anxiety and adversity is to...well, mock it. And mock the people who are making it worse. And mock ourselves for dealing with it poorly. I had a teacher in high school who told my journalism class that we were setting ourselves up to be the "Daily Show" Generation. Whereas his era involved pointing at structural bullshit and then protesting it in a serious and noble manner, ours tends to point derisively at problems, at each other, at ourselves, and make some primo snark in order to breathe easier.


Without a doubt, things are changing right now. The easiest way to judge if a historical moment is happening is to check our local cinema, and mine has started offering virtual exhibitions to combat the lack of people leaving their homes. WWE's WrestleMania was performed in front of a crowd of empty chairs, and it was haunting. Late night comedy shows now look exactly like an episode of my old show, No Right Answer. Things. Have. Changed. No matter what country you hail from, no matter what decimal along the political spectrum you call your home, things have changed. I have every assurance that once this has passed, we will return to what we consider "normal," and we will talk of this historic moment to our children and grandchildren for the rest of our lives. COVID-19 will be the moment in time that we are interviewed for by Ken Burns...or, well, whoever takes Ken Burns' place as our foremost recorder of a specific moment in history where we had to confront one of these pesky defining moments.

We are under a lot of pressure, as a collective and as individuals. I have nothing much to offer my friends (and I assume if you're reading this now, you must be one of my friends, and it seems important to highlight that truth in this moment), but if you feel the pressure as palpably as I have, and you continue to go to work--even virtually--or you support industries and maintain your bonds to others amid this massive upheaval, you are a true friend and a valued participant in our shared experience. Hilariously, staying apart can bring us together.

This is all sounding excessively sappy and saccharine, but who gives a shit? We've never been hurt by a slight overdose of sincerity yet, have we? Anyway, I've got a new t-shirt thing for our store. It's uh...

Okay, this is awkward. You ever have that moment when a surprise has been ruined, or your joke got hijacked by reality, and you're forced to just kind of power through it and explain the thing that doesn't matter anymore? Like, "okay, so what was supposed to happen here was..." and you feel stupid explaining something in hindsight? Yeah, so here's my new t-shirt design:

Buy it now at our TeePublic Store

Because, you know, there's an election coming up, so political imagery. But I also like cheesy old sci-fi movies, and Moon Zero Two has this terrific spooky image. I had this planned a while back when the Democratic Primary was heating up and everyone's opinion was at a fever pitch, and feels like I'm trying to sell a bumper sticker for a candidate who already dropped out, now, doesn't it? Well, maybe that's more appropriate now than I'm giving it credit.

Listen all, be well.
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